Sam, a midwife, birthed her first baby, Sullivan, at home as part of the midwifery group practice (MGP) homebirth program at the Mercy Hospital for Women, which was introduced in October 2024. ‘I think the biggest “aha” moment I had was reading over Rhea’s chapters about the “willing woman” and the different types of women that approach labour. I didn’t want to be the “aspirational but naive woman”, I wanted to be the “pain embracing woman” I had seen so many women birth like before me.’
I wanted to labour spontaneously with minimal to no interventions and birth in an environment where I felt safe, comfortable and calm. I was proactive in preparing my body and mind for labour and knew that I’d given my everything to work toward a normal physiological labour and birth.
I was lucky enough to be cared for by my beautiful colleagues in MGP [midwifery group practice] for my pregnancy, labour, birth and postpartum period. I knew I could trust them wholeheartedly and if for whatever reason they believed that the safest place for my baby to be born was in the hospital I would’ve transferred in. But I also knew that they wanted me to birth at home as I had intended to.
Homebirths through MGP only started in October 2024 and thankfully before going on mat leave I was able to attend a number of homebirths which only made me so much more desperate to birth my baby this same way.
I found most people in the wider community surprised as to ‘why’ I would birth at home, I suppose not necessarily understanding the rates of intervention in the hospital setting and the unnecessary medicalisation that can happen in labour and birth. A lot of women I was caring for would often say ‘Oh maybe for my second baby but not for my first’, which I found interesting, because as a first-time mother why do myself or my baby not deserve this birth that I wanted for us?
Luckily I felt nothing but support from family and friends.
I’d read Rhea’s book Birth With Confidence early on in my midwifery career but read it again during pregnancy to refresh as a birthing woman and not a midwife.
I did birth education classes with Di Diddle and Rhea presents the ‘pain and power’ class there and discusses the different types of women who approach labour and the crisis of confidence. My husband loved the class that she presented.
I think the biggest ‘aha’ moment I had was reading over Rhea’s chapters about the ‘willing woman’ and the different types of women that approach labour. I didn’t want to be the ‘aspirational but naive woman’, I wanted to be the ‘pain embracing woman’ I had seen so many women birth like before me.
I definitely had [a crisis of confidence] at 39 weeks pregnant when I started questioning what was wrong with my body and why I wasn’t going into labour, even though as a midwife I could absolutely rationalise why I hadn’t, I didn’t expect this. I assumed I’d start overthinking things as I got to 41weeks, so at 39 weeks I turned my phone on do not disturb and didn’t reply to anyone who messaged apart from a few close friends and family.
I was 40+6 when I went into labour. I woke up at 3 am with the urge to go to the bathroom, it was short lived and nothing happened so went back to bed and managed to fall back asleep. This happened every half an hour until 5 am when it finally occurred to me that ‘Oh, maybe this is it and what I’m actually feeling is early labour’.
You’d think as a midwife and being 40+6 I might’ve clued on a bit earlier, but I’m so happy I didn’t as I don’t know I would’ve fallen back to sleep as I’m sure my mind would’ve been racing thinking about what was potentially about to unfold.
At 5 am contractions were coming every 10 minutes or so, I didn’t time them, just got back into bed and tried to fall asleep between each one. By 6:30 am I was breathing through when they were there and that was what woke my husband up.
My midwife must have had a gut feeling and had texted me at 7 am just checking in as she was organising her day, I had said to her ‘I’m sure it’ll fizzle out now the sun’s up and probably start again tonight’. We agreed to just keep in touch should things change.
I spoke to my best friend (also a midwife) who was going to be at the birth too, she offered to come over already, but I felt calm and felt like it was still really early and was managing fine.
I got my husband to take the dog to the park at 10 am and gave him a list of food to buy for my midwives for when they were with me in labour, I think he was nervous and called my girlfriend as all of a sudden she was at my house. By this point they were around 5-minutely or so, she put my TENS machine on for me which was HEAVEN.
By 12 my girlfriend had texted my midwife that contractions were coming 3-minutely. They were intense when they came but in between I still felt normal so just kept denying that things were escalating and that I was still in early labour.
At 2:30 pm my girlfriend suggested an internal check as she was nervous I was progressing quickly and would miss out on birthing in the pool. I honestly thought I was still in early labour so said to her don’t tell me how far along I am, I don’t want to mess with my headspace. When she checked she said ‘Oh you are definitely in labour!’, obviously dying to know what I was then she told me 5 cm; I was genuinely surprised as I really believed it was still early. She called my midwife to update her and she made the decision she would come to our house. Labour really intensified from here and there was no longer chatting and laughing in between contractions.
My midwife Sue arrived at around 3:30 pm. At this point I had moved downstairs to where the birth pool was set up as previously I had been labouring upstairs in our bedroom. I was on all fours using the TENS, vocalising through, definitely in transition! My girlfriend was giving my husband lists of jobs to do which he loved as it made him feel like he could do something.
I got into the birth pool at 3:50 pm and the warmth of the water felt amazing, at this point it was so intense I had kept saying to everyone that it was ‘too much and I was done’. I definitely had [a crisis of confidence] during transition as I was in the pool, telling everyone ‘I was done, take me to hospital, it’s too much’. I looked at my best friend and said to her ‘are you sure the baby’s going to be born today, I can’t do this anymore’ to which she replied ‘Sam, we can see and you can feel the head and it’s only 4:30 pm, if it’s not born today, something’s not right’.
I could feel the membranes stretching everything which felt like it was burning. Sue at this point said it ‘would feel so much better when the waters broke’. So when she went to the toilet quickly, I broke them myself, the relief was amazing! I do regret this as I would’ve loved to have birthed en caul, but at the time, anything to help! The baby’s head was sitting right there.
My second midwife Laura arrived about 15 minutes before my baby was born. Sully was born at 4:46 pm, and I was able to bring him straight up to my chest. A few minutes after we discovered we’d had a boy as we didn’t know the gender.
I stayed in the pool around 15-20 minutes post birth before getting out and birthing the placenta on the toilet. I then moved to the couch where we had skin to skin, our first feed, followed by pizza and champagne for everyone.
I look at my birth photos and watch my video all the time. I worked so hard in pregnancy preparing my mind and body for the birth I wanted and I couldn’t be happier with how it all unfolded.
Were Rhea’s books or workshop part of your birth preparation? Share your story here. We would love to hear from you!
