Sammy knew she wanted physiological birth, and thought she was making the right choices to have one for the birth of her first baby.
‘Coming from a background of yoga, I always knew I wanted to have a natural birthing experience. One without drugs or a clinical approach,’ she says. ‘For my first baby, I decided to leave my aspirations for a homebirth behind and settle for a “natural obstetrician” with the hope to birth naturally in a private hospital.’
Sammy explains that, after an unwanted ‘stretch and sweep’ on a Friday, she went into labour the next evening, at 9 pm on a Saturday. ‘I ended up with a 19-hour labour, an epidural, bradycardia, eight vaginal examinations, failure to progress and a caesarean at 4pm on Sunday afternoon.’
Says Sammy: ‘I was left with anger and disappointment at a system that is meant to support women, and chose a homebirth for my second pregnancy.’
When I got pregnant again all the emotions from my first birth experience came flooding back. I knew that if I wanted to have a happy homebirth that was supported by my husband I had a lot of work to do. At 15 weeks I booked into a birth debrief with Rhea through Fertile Ground, a place where I enjoyed many prenatal massages. Apart from the relief of being met with such deep listening from Rhea, after feeling so unheard through my first labour, we went through my birthing notes and she gave me the confidence I needed to birth at home.
Funnily enough I would describe my preparation for my first birth as easy compared to my second. Even though this time I was choosing what I truly wanted. Not only did I have hours of learning to do about the process of homebirth, I had to ease my husband’s worries, as well of our families. I read Birth with Confidence by Rhea, Birth After Caesarean by Hazel Keedle, I did an online VBAC workshop through Mama Midwives and the weekend workshop with Rhea and Jo. After this workshop my husband was 110% in and supportive of birthing at home.
We had Marita from Mama Midwives as our private midwife and had hour-long home appointments during our time together. Marita had 23 years’ experience which meant we both felt at ease due to the ‘extra caution’ we needed due to my previous caesarean. Having now given birth at home with no worries at all, I can see through the fear mongering comments surrounding birth after caesarean and although of course there is always a risk with any birth, the narrative that surrounds birth and the necessary safety of being in a hospital is very damaging to first-time mums.
At 30 weeks I still felt I had more work to do, so after the workshop with Rhea and Jo I asked Jo to be my doula. We had four home meetings together that went for two to three hours, talking in detail about my previous birth, about my upcoming birth and any other feelings I had that may emotionally stall my labour. The work we did together was groundbreaking wonderful amazing and I would have had about 10 crises of confidence. One minute I was confident and ready, the next I was ready to book a caesarean. Dealing with external opinions was torture but my husband and I would remind ourselves that this was our baby and our decision. We had done the work, and we knew it was safe.
I went into labour at 40 weeks and 3 days, although looking back I think I was in labour on and off for a day prior. I had very strong Braxton Hicks for both of my pregnancies so it was hard for me to tell what was a real contraction. I went to sleep around 9pm, woke at 1am to contractions. I called Jo excited to let her know it was happening. I also called Marita who had only been home for 5 minutes after being at a 24-hour birth!
Jo had given me a book, where I had read an old birthing story of some advice given to a lady from her grandmother for labour. She had said ‘Hold onto your buffet table’. Meaning during contractions stand up, hold on, ride it out and keep the movement going. Jo had also given me advice on helpful movements during labour and had actually demonstrated what she would do during contractions in my bedroom where I was going to give birth.
I thought I would be a quiet birther during labour because I was quiet in the hospital for my firth birth. I was not, and I bloody loved it. Every cell in my body was buzzing, my hormones were in harmony. Jo arrived after a few hours and I moved into the shower where my waters broke and I had a bloody show. I had my eyes closed during 95% of my labour, and held hands for pain relief. Marita arrived and I moved into the birthing pool. After an hour of pushing our son Pat was born at 7am in the morning. We had our fire going as the morning sun was coming through the clouds after a rain shower. It was magic! I was lost for words and in disbelief that after such an exhausting and difficult previous birth that it could be so simple. This was birth, as it should be – wild and free.
My experience has had a positive ripple effect in all areas of my life. I feel calm, balanced, confident and unafraid to ask for what I want. I am kinder and more compassionate. I hope that all women are given the opportunity to birth the way they want to.
Were Rhea’s books or workshop part of your birth preparation? Share your story here. We would love to hear from you!
