Your guide to the birth you want

Rhea’s honesty was such a contrast to the more polished calm birth messaging. I’d done that too, and while I took things from it, Rhea’s voice felt more real. She wasn’t selling me an easy birth, she was reminding me that I was strong enough for a hard one.

I let go of needing a ‘perfect’ setup and focused more on how I would protect my mindset. I couldn’t have my ideal continuity model due to timing and staffing, but I still wrote out my needs clearly and made sure my husband could advocate for me. I also completely rewired how I saw the sensations of labour, instead of fearing the intensity, I leaned into it. I resisted the pain in my first birth, I welcomed it like an old friend for Lily’s.

Reading Rhea’s book was a profound eye-opener. [It] helped me truly understand how the cascade of interventions often leads women down a path they never intended—something I had sadly experienced in my first pregnancy.

One of my biggest ‘aha’ moments was learning about the crisis of confidence that many women go through in labour, as well as the distinction between physiological pain and pathological pain. I appreciated that Rhea doesn’t make birth seem easier than it is—unlike some hypnobirthing courses that make it seem as though labour is completely painless. Instead, she acknowledges that pain is a real part of birth, while explaining how it works and why it doesn’t have to be feared. This honest perspective resonated with me and helped me adopt the mindset I needed for my birth.

I’d read Rhea’s book BIRTH WITH CONFIDENCE early on in my midwifery career but read it again during pregnancy to refresh as a birthing woman and not a midwife … I think the biggest ‘aha’ moment I had was reading over Rhea’s chapters about the ‘willing woman’ and the different types of women that approach labour. I didn’t want to be the ‘aspirational but naive woman’.

I look at my birth photos and watch my video all the time. I worked so hard in pregnancy preparing my mind and body for the birth I wanted and I couldn’t be happier with how it all unfolded.